Since I started high school I have always been the one who wasn't too sure. I was never sure of the big things and even the little things. When I was at the registers and the check out chick would ask me "Would you like a bag with that?"... I was never sure.
Such a small thing you might think. I never knew what kind of clothes I liked, so I would just get the plain stuff or look at what my friends were into. I was very unsure of myself when it came to skills and abilities. Someone might ask me what I am good at. I never really had a proper answer for them. So choosing a career when getting out of high school was extremely difficult. I had to really search myself for those answers that I had been putting off. It took about a year of that searching to go after a career I was most likely to fail at. Thats just statistics.
I moved to the city. Which brings me back to when people might ask me if I liked the country or the city. I would change my answer every time.
I started attending a school that had so many different types of people that I no longer could copy what other people were wearing. There was no way I was going to wear polish tree hugging shirts. (not naming names... *Cough* Mateausz)
This forced me to find my own style and now I feel so much more confident in shopping for clothes. I have even become a hat person lately.
So back to the growth thing. The biggest achievement for me is the acceptance I finally found for myself. And the acceptance I found in other peoples eyes.
Even though I am 156 kilometres away from my best friends, the ones I can tell everything to. I still feel close to them. I feel like I can go back and they will still be there. Nothing will have changed except for maybe hair colours, boyfriends. They might have a nice new car or their parents might have divorced, they might get pregnant or engaged. But the things that matter will never change.
So this whole year, along with all the acceptance and jazz, I now know a lot of the questions I have been asking myself and I can now answer people when they ask me if I would like a bag or if I like the country over the city.
I know what kind of clothes I like. I. Not anyone else. I know the general path of career Im embarking and I know things I am good at. And things I am not.
As I said, its been a year of growth. However, I still have so much to learn.
Its almost mind boggling how much.
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